Romantic Comedy in the Dark: Volume 1 Chapter 1 Part 3

Next morning.

As always, I woke up.

With half my body raised on the bed.

The morning sun shone outside the window, sparrows chirping here and there.

My mom stormed in with a yell [How long are you going to stay asleep!], to which I could only reply, [Ah…]. I chewed the dry loaf of bread like a dishevelled cow, then stood at the sink with a toothbrush in my mouth while gazing absentmindedly at the reflection of my lifeless face in the mirror.

So this is what it means to have your toxicity drawn out.

It was as though I was a dried-up jellyfish on land.

(Something…everything seems dazed.)

As I tried to cross over a red light, a trunk honked at me.

I was stepped on the crowded train, gouged in the side with someone’s elbow, and compressed like a juice box in a fruit parlour.

When I arrived at the school, my uniform got caught on the handle of the school gate, causing me to fall down with a loud bang. Upon arriving at class, the committee chairperson glanced at me coldly, the gyaru looked away from me, and the literature club member was too absorbed in her book to take notice of me. The Yankee then said [What the hell, you like like you don’t know whether you’re dead or alive. Don’t come to school looking like a coward. As punishment, today, you are to get me curry rice, bread and fruit]. I could only nod my head silently at his words as if I was in a certain post-coital clarity.

(Girlfriend.)

Just one character, no more than three strokes. Apart from that kanji, which has the simplest form that even a kindergartener can read and write, everything else was just noise to me now.

Girlfriend.

Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend.

If I had to decide whether I wanted it or not, of course, I wanted it.

My classmates were a bunch of unintelligent monkeys who only cared about mating, but I’m just another monkey assigned to that category.

I wasn’t that different from the bunch. Even if I’m just another small fish at the bottom of the school Caste. I was a still healthy young man. I had those kinds of desires. Really. I want it so much I can’t get it out of my throat.

But, hey.

However.

(No, no, no! I don’t!)

I plopped down on my desk and scratched my head.

There’s no way there exists such a great story!

After all, it’s just a dream!

Another reality? My dreams affecting the world?

Don’t be ridiculous. A dream story that crosses the line, a paranoia that can’t be explained even if it were to be confined to a hospital. Notwithstanding all that, manipulating my dreams as I please and being hopeful, and when I return to reality, all my powers disappear; just how stupid is that? A self-made, self-addicted match pump. Whatever they call it. I hate it entirely. I’m so sick and tired of being talked down to!

That doesn’t mean I’ve lost my power, though, so I guess I can dream whatever I want again tonight. But, just as I thought, the dream yesterday night, was definitely different from all the others I had. After all, I admitted it. In my dreams, where I pretend to be king, I admitted that I was no different than those monkeys I despise. No, even worse, I recognized myself as trash.

I probably can’t stay the same person as I was yesterday anymore.

That person, the plague doctor that can appear in my dreams if she so pleases, the poor doctor who sounded like a voice changer, she said, 『Even if I can’t cure you completely, I can at least alleviate the symptoms』.

I mean, in the end, what was that all about? With what that person said.

How does one suddenly find a lover? It’s not like I’ve registered on a dating app. No, or perhaps I should say, it’s all part of my dream, which is why just thinking about it makes me feel all void and empty inside. This is becoming too much of a hassle for me…I’ll probably enter the priesthood or become a Buddhist…or I’ll simply die. It’s only about when.

…When.

As I was holding my head in my arms. The classroom became noisy.

[Who is that?]

[I don’t know.]

[Is this bad?]

My classmates were shouting in unison, just like monkeys warning the others of an abnormal situation. My reaction was muted, however, just like a jellyfish stranded on land. While the alert is in my ears, it does not reach my consciousness.

[Transfer student?]

[In our class?]

[Oh my god. She’s so cute.]

I heard footsteps.

That someone was headed in my direction.

In the classroom full of noise, only that sound revertebrates awfully well.

[Hi.]

Someone stood in front of my desk.

I turned my fallen face-up.

Gulping unconsciously.

It was a beautiful woman.

Glossy black hair. Smooth skin. Slender, well-proportioned arms and legs. A well-balanced style, nice figure, not too thin, but with meat where it should be.

Correction. She’s absurdly beautiful. Her thighs peeking out from her short skirt were highly erotic. And her breasts were so big that I could even see them from the top of her uniform.

At that time, I was still like a dried-up jellyfish on land. Even though such a beautiful woman was standing before with me an archaic smile, my brain remained like tofu.

And then, that unequalled beautiful woman.

She kissed me.

Without hesitation, as if it were something terribly natural.

[Wa…? Eh…?]

[It’s a manner of greeting. I’ve come here to fulfil my promise.]

Her voice, which was clear and beautiful, sounded close to a loli’s, which is not something I would’ve imagined from her erotic figure. The gap between the two was so striking that even the sound of her voice tickled my eardrums, sending a shiver down my spine.

It was quite a spectacle in the classroom at that moment.

Time had come to a stop, just like that. The committee chairman, the gyaru, and the literature club member all had their eyes wide open and were glued to me and the black-haired beauty. The Yankee had his jaw dropped open and looked like a total idiot. I really wished I had turned on my phone at that moment. It would have made quite a story if I had taken a video.

Although I was the one who looked most like an idiot at that moment, I guess it can’t be helped.

[In sickness and in health.]

The beautiful woman gently put her finger to her lips.

[I’m a doctor. In front of my eyes, I will not abdicate my responsibility for any illness. Besides, didn’t I tell you? That I like you?]

After saying that, she blushes a little as if embarrassed.

That foul gesture was extremely cute, and more than that, I finally realized it. The spoken lines, the phrasing. The quality of her voice was completely different from what I heard in my dream, but it was obvious that this extreme beauty before me, who suddenly gave me that ‘mouth to mouth’ gesture, was──

[Please treat me well, Sato Jiro-kun. From today onward, I’m your lover.]

　　　†

Amagami Yumiri.

She was a solitary and unique existence, mowing down the unreasonable, kicking off the illogical, and mocking the impossible.

Preventing a crisis before it happens, an aloof and lone existence.

This is me, Sato Jiro.

And the story of how I kill her.

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Chapter 1 Part 2

ToC

Chapter 2 Part 1

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TL notes:

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